worries
5:18 a.m. x 2004-09-08
Who knows how long I will have to write this. Michael will probably be back home soon. It's raining and he can't work in the rain.
He came home in a crappy mood last night. I think it was a lot to do with being tired and have a cruddy day at work but then he would move away from me in bed when I tried to snuggle up to him like I always do. I knew something was definitely wrong and it wasn't just the bad day at work he had. I finally got it out of him. I told him if he was upset with me in anyway or needed to talk about something with me then to do it already. He said he was reading my emails over my shoulder and realized I had received an email from a GUY. I am in a Big Brother 5 email group. (WAS!) I don't reply to any emails. I just read them to see what's going on in the live feeds since I don't have time lately to watch the live feeds. He still wasn't happy that I received an email from a GUY. Argh! So this morning I left my Big Brother email groups. :( I just don't want him thinking I'm talking to guys online because I'm not and I never do. That kind of aggravates me. The fact that he doesn't trust me online. I have never given him a reason not to trust me.
Work is still going good. I just wish I got off work a bit earlier. I'm missing Carey's cheerleading practices. Luckily her sitter is the advisor but then I'm still missing Cory's band practice also (and so is he). I love working and the extra money will help out tremendously but I feel like I'm missing out on everything.
Cory had a band meeting yesterday evening at 7:00. I got off work at 6:00 and had to pick the kiddies up at the sitter's which was around 6:15. I had to come home and help with homework, fix dinner, get the kids to take their showers and get them to bed by 9:00. It is nearly impossible to do anything else in the evenings because of the time I get off work. I felt so bad for him and I even tried to get his grandmother to take him but she wouldn't. Maybe I can get my hours changed once in a while.
I don't know.. I've got to figure something out.
Well, I guess I'll get the dishes done before I wake the kiddies for school. I don't have to be at work until 9:30. Wow.. it's 5:30 am right now. I can't believe I'm up this early.
*updated @ 8:00 am* I'm getting rather aggravated by the numerous phone calls each morning at 8:00. The number comes up unavailable. My number is actually private and very few people know it. The only two people that come up unavailable are Cory's g'ma and a friend (or used to be friend). I haven't talked to that so-called friend for over a month (I think). Dalton is a precious baby boy that was unwanted by his mother. I had him most of his first four months. People then started commenting to his mother that she should take on responsibility for once and then I was lucky to see him once a month. She started calling me again a couple of months ago wanting me to keep him and then would "forget" to come and get him so I would have him most of the weekend. Well, the last time I kept him he had bruises around his upper arms, bruises between his legs and on his little butt and also he had caked dried blood in his ears. He was very fussy and hardly slept a wink. The next day after she came to get him I went to Children's Services and cried to them about the shape little Dalton was in. I haven't heard from the mother since but every day since then around 8:00 I get a call that comes up unavailable. I have passed her in town and she has followed me half way to my home and then turned around. I wish she would confront me. I'm not the violent type but I would love to give her a piece of my mind. I'm really worried about Dalton but there is nothing I can do about it. I have done what I can and I hope he is safe. She has four other children that I worry about also. They are neglected. They cuss worse than most adults. It's really sad.